For journalists covering Oracle…

2004-08-04: 34 flaws found in Oracle database software
2004-09-03: US gov and sec firms warn of critical Oracle flaws
2004-10-15: Oracle Warns of Critical Exploits
2005-01-20: Oracle Patch Fixes 23 ‘Critical’ Vulnerabilities
2005-10-19: Oracle fixes bugs with mega patch
2006-01-18: Oracle fixes pile of bugs

In the interest of helping journalists cover Oracle.. perhaps they should just move to a templated form to save time?


[CATCHY_TITLE]
By [YOUR_NAME]
[YOUR TITLE], [YOUR PUBLICATION]
[DATE]

Oracle released on [DAY_OF_WEEK] fixes for a [LONG/HUGE/MONSTROUS] list of security vulnerabilities in [ONE/MANY/ALL] of its products. The quarterly patch contained patches for [NUMBER] vulnerabilities.

Titled “Critical Patch Update”, the patch provides [FIXES/REMEDIES/MITIGATION] for [NUMBER] flaws in the Database products, [NUMBER] flaws in the Application Server, [NUMBER] flaws in the COllaboration Suite, [NUMBER] of flaws in the E-Business Suite, [NUMBER] of flaws in the PeopleSoft Enterprise Portal, and [NUMBER] of flaws in the [NEW_TECHNOLOGY_OR_ACQUISITION].

Many of the flaws have been deemed critical by Oracle, meaning they are trivial to exploit, were likely discovered around 880 days ago, and are trivially abused by low to moderately skilled [HACKERS/ATTACKERS/CRACKERS]. Some of these flaws may be used in the next worm-of-the-week.

“[DULL_QUOTE_FROM_COMPANY_WHO_DISCOVERED_0_OF_THE_FLAWS]” security company [COMPANY] said yesterday as they upped their internet risk warning system number (IRWSN) to [ARBITRARY_NUMBER]. “This is another example of why our products will help protect customers who chose to deploy Oracle software” [ARBITRARY_CSO_NAME] stated.

“[BULLSHIT_QUOTE_ABOUT_PROACTIVE_SECURITY_FROM_ORACLE” countered Mary Ann Davidson, CSO at Oracle. “These hackers providing us with free security testing and showing their impatience after a mere 880 days are what causes problems. If these jackass criminals would stop being hackers, our products would not be broken into and our customers would stay safe!”

Oracle has been criticized for being slow to fix security flaws by everyone ranging from L0rD D1cKw4v3R to US-CERT to the Pope.

About these ads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 5,026 other followers

%d bloggers like this: